Today is just an ordinary day and I feel like I have wings and I’m ready to soar but every time I’m in mid flight something holds me back. It’s been so long that I almost got used to it but as time went on I stayed the same while the hold got stronger. The heart can only take so much. It’s incomplete, torn, broken. It gave and gave and yet didn’t get anything in return. I wonder if it still has something left to give.
(Kore wa watashi no sekai, sekai no mondai. Watashi wa … . nani desu ka)
What am I? What is my purpose? Am I to just move along this road and keep walking? I can’t take it for much longer. Anytime I try to put my mind somewhere else so I don’t think it get dragged back in. (kamisama, chikara no watashita) , , , , , , , ,
Hey, I’ve been kinda emo lately. Yeah, no need to tell me anything but it’s just that all around me I see everyone living their lives and moving forward while I’m just standing still. All the chances I had in life, I gave away to help others. I forgot myself and kept telling myself that I didn’t need anything but that was all BS. Now, sitting where I am today, I know that I was stupid and all the things I didn’t concern me. I gave and gave and didn’t get. This heart of mine is torn. I can’t find a way to mend it… . .
Why is it that you always realize what your missing when it’s gone……..
Darn….. Everywhere I turn my face I find something that I’m missing (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ungrateful for the things I have but there are some things out there that money can’t buy)…..
I swear it feel like the world has a grudge on me, the people around me learn to cope but I just can’t….. I guess living with regrets is a part of life. I can kinda handle it if I made the mistake but living isn’t fun when you blame yourself for all the wrong in your life just because it was your destiny….
Whatever…….blah blah this and blah blah that….”sigh”
Wow, I had a dream last night that woke me up early in the morning, it wasn’t scary. It started with me walking as I usually do then I started meeting my old friends Ibrahim and some others, even Michelle whom I’ve never met in person was there. Anyway we were hanging out, things were going fine, I somehow felt like I didn’t belong. We stayed together until it was too late. The gang stayed at my house until their parents would come, Ibrahim’s Dad came in their red minivan with Ibrahim’s mom. so did the others. things that couldn’t remember happened. all I know is that when I woke up I was breathing hard. And I realized that I’ve been losing a lot by being far from my friends.
Everybody needs someone to turn to in the time of need or at least a place that holds memories, where time and space merge and don’t really exist. But not everyone are that lucky, like come on! Who ever said that everyone’s got a best friend to turn to in times of dire need was lying. Some of us go though the day with an alternative, we attach ourselves with something else. Sometimes these attachments are totally harmless and sometimes they can also be deadly! Just wanted to let of some steam so thanks for your time :)
